HAHA...Remember this?
-Berly
no...I don't think anyone has, grandpa.
I am a grandpa....wow....
Well, you're over a century (and a half) old....you sure you aren't a great (great great) gradpa?
Lol, yeah....I guess I am a GREAT GREAT GRANDPA....and I found the country I originally was in too, the way I had left it....nobody had registered it...odd, so I reregistered it....ressurected I guess.....
(In Character) -- September, 2185- On the shores of the North Sea in some small nation in the heart of the Virginia Bella is a desolate beach with an unmarked grave. The remains of a downed fighter made of some archaic material scatter across the beach....in the distance, the skyline of the city of Poestown is visible...but this place....on this beach....a few hundred yards from the unmarked grave lies the foundation of a bombed out abanonded building....formerly a catherdral...and then possibly a seat of some world organization.....and the remains of roads and small amounts of what appear to be city infrastructure about twenty miles east outside of Poestown in this country. For 100 years under the name of Red London...under the rule of many faceless leaders.....but at this very place, the former seat of a great organization....lies desolate bombed out....to the south in the plains near the border lies the capital, a bustling city of 600,000....Berlioz City. Once eternal city of a great empire. There in the heart of the city the former Imperal Palace stands.....in ruins.....but after a century of living under faceless rule, the Empire is Restored....today in Berlioz City, a man claiming to be a direct relative of the former Emperor of the Holy Empire of Berlioz has rallied supporters and captured the chambers of the National Council today....without rebellion, as many of these old men who have been ruling what was called Red London had heard stories of the days of the empire from their fathers and grandfathers, and they welcomed this man...with a quick DNA test of course, it was proven that he was a relative of the Imperial bloodline, and was allowed to sieze power....along with his Cat of course.....The Holy Empire of Berlioz has been restored in the homeland.
(Out of character) Sheesh, I've only read up to beginning of March 15, 2002--erm, mid-late May 2068. That's some amazing world history! I've heard about the Juggernaught v. the Girls war, but not direct from the source. I will continue reading, but not now, as I've spent from midnight till 2 am already. (In character) This coming in from the Empire of Chess on this evening of September 30, 2185:
Questions have been raised recently by the citizens of Spassky about war policy. It seems several wars have been declared, but the president has been too lazy to attack before they fizzled out. Public opinion has been changed, however, since the conquest of the nation Crudland. Three other countries have been attacked. Here's the president now! Carpool Boy, can you tell us something about this victory?
*choking back tears of joy* "This is indeed a very special victory. When I was first declared president of a country on this world, it was in the country Nimzovich. For many years I was a prosperous and peaceful president, and eventually I annexed Spassky. Due to a strange, quick, and devastating depression, I was forced to leave Spassky to stay in Nimzovich. That was before an evil tyrant ruler decided to take my beautiful Nimzovich, and all its spoils.
"When Nimzovich was conquered, I was forced to flee to my former state, Spassky. Fortunately, I was greeted with open arms. The evil tyrant was eventually conquered by a president who then dropped the countries. Not before renaming the evil tyrant's country of origin to Crudland. Therefore, this victory today symbolizes the conquering of my conquerors."
Mr. President, where you expecting to win the war so quickly? I mean, you finished the country off on the same day you started attacking it.
"Actually, no. I was merely planning to take out all the fortifications, as I did with the other three countries I attacked today. When I saw the war index as low as it was, I had to see if I could take the country over."
Do you plan to take the other countries you attacked?
"We'll see. My main goal is to destroy the fortifications so that the countries will buy more fortifications. In my part-time job as a CEO, I run several fortification companies, so I want to create a demand for the installations. Also, taking Crudland has taken its toll on the military. Although no one died on our side, 70000 of our Jeeps, and tens of thousands of our Armored Vehicles were destroyed. That's not to mention the 2500 Helicopters used to attack the capitol. Who knew Helicopters would be so devastating! I have already ordered new supplies, but it may take a couple of months before unemployment drops down to normal levels again."
Thank you for your time, Mr. President.
Berlioz City, The Holy Empire of Berlioz, Ashville West, Virginia Bella-
After increasind pressures from the C3 party in the Imperial Parliment, the Emperor and his Cabinent along with a large group of followers have left the nation and the crown has peacefully allowed the C3 Party to control the nation as it pleases....as many Xiyu Llanese immigrants have populated the Berliozian homeland (making them the majority over Berliozians by 57%) and do not wish to be repeat the nation's past of the crown's war mongering and build up of defense.
Many former Berliozian commandoes, terrorists, corporate directors and railroad barons from the old Empire settled far away in Lynx Minor after escaping the collapse of the final Berliozian State, Vidalla....their decendats make up a large portion of the population in one certain country.
Ciudad de Berlioz Nueva, The Empire of New Berlioz-
Along with his followers, the Emperor has moved to the nation now known as New Berlioz and was elected into power by the growing number of people of Berliozian decent who's parents and grandparents esceped the old country many years ago.....
The Emperor proclaims this the next chapter in the story of the Berliozian people....
He will be touring cities in New Berlioz all through 2187 starting with Vidalla Noveau, January 27th.
...And now taking a clip from the newspaper:
"Spassky army takes full control in Nimzovich
Thu Sep 5, 2186."
11 months and 1 day after war started, Nimzovich, the original country of Nimz, was taken back. The organization "C3" has been vanquished.
Thank you for listening to the Empirical Chess News Network (ECNN)
Just a clarification--11 months and 1 day after war was declared. Only 7 months and 1 day after war started.
(ECNN Errata Department)
Imperial Center, Wartime Concubine
September 21, 2186
Ancorman Semore Butts reporting,
President Medicated announced victory today in the armies southern push into the lowlands of the Bandria Granda region of Eridana. 45,000 tanks spearheaded the drive into the Tango Alliance and Milenia Century of The Real Majapahit, only 900 tanks survived the attack.
After the Southern Offencive was done, Field General Chat ordered the army to relocate to Wartime 3of1 for a northern offencive into the mountains of The Republic of Moon dion. 58,000 tanks and 290,000 soldiers will arrive within the next 4 months to begin the campain.
President Medicated claims to have launched these campains in an effort to expand Wartime control and influence throughout the Bandria Granda region. The President's top critic, Congresswomen Herpy, announced just resently that links between President Medicated and the Enterprise "Strategic Stockpile" have begun to emerge. A congresstional hearing is investigating these accusations.
Strategic Stockpile denies any connection with Wartime's war efforts. "We sell all our weapons on the open market" says SS's deputy CEO Lighty Medicated, brother of President Heavily Medicated.
This is Semore Butts reporting for WARN 10.
WARN 10 ©
WARTIME NEWS NETWORK CHANNEL 10
Boris, Spassky
September 25, 2186
President Boy has issued an edict today. All citizens in the lands controlled by Empirical Chess must learn some recognized version of chess within 1 year or by the time they are 10 years old. Any citizen that learns checkers in lieu of chess will be executed. A list of recognized versions of chess follows:
1. Standard Chess
2. Siamese Chess (a four player variation)
3. Kriegspiel (doubly blind chess)
4. Xiangqi (Chinese Chess)
5. Shogi (Japanese chess)
6. Any timed variation of the above
This is an effort to increase the education of the citizens, especially of the recently conquered territories.
Brighton Everyman, Education correspondant, ECNN
Sunday, May 12, 2187 (whatever that means--it may as well be May 12, 31)
Utter confusion has hit the world. Citizens from countries all over FB can't remember anything beyond about 30 years ago. That this is a sudden occurrence is testified by the fact that citizens from countries that have been maintained by the government known as C3 for longer than 30 years remember remembering things from beyond that time, but they don't remember what they were remembering. Somewhat less affected by this mass amnesia are presidents and corporate executive officers.
These memory losses also appear to be different from previously reported amnesias. The previous amnesias, sometimes called "resets," hit entire empires with mass insanities, causing extremely high levels of murder, which was then followed by amnesia. The resets have, as far as we can tell at the moment, hit empires at random. Some empires have been hit twice in the past 30 years, with a period of about 15 years. President Boy has confirmed the period, stating that the current rumors have the period increased to 20 years, but not the randomness. It is his claim that reset amnesia hits empires based on when the government switched from the control of C3.
The insanities in reset amnesia had several other side effects. Permanent brain damage was done to many highly skilled workers, causing corporations that depended on them to suffer and close. The murdrous rages of the citizens abated when empire populations were close to 8,000,000 people per country, but before that happened, the number and types of weapons in each country hit a common (as if controlled in some way) level. Unfortunately, the insanity of the citizens does not appear to end until all territories annexed to an empire have reverted to the government of C3.
Less is known about the recent amnesia, except that it is global in scale, and does not appear to be associated with any kind of mass insanity. Conspiracy theorists in the lands of Empirical Chess have conjured up ideas that an alien race responsible for reset amnesia has been working on building a mind control device. The insanity of the resets is a side effect of an early version, and the latest version is responsible for the sudden amnesia we are currently experiencing
Anne Mesia, Chaos correspondant
ECNN
NO DAMN YOU!!!
September 9, 2187-
Ministry of War, Ciudad de Berlioz Nueva-
New Berliozian troops have been ordered to mobilize for war against the neighboring country of Gray Legion to the north. The people show great apporval of this war as a first step in regaining the former glory that was the old Berliozian Empire....(without the arrogance, debt, greed and corrpution)
Thursday, November 18, 2187
Victory for the Chessman forces of Spassky was announced one week ago against the country formerly known as Northumberland. The war was approved by the people on May 12, 2187. Continuous attacks from Sept. 25-29 greatly weakened the resolve of the Northumberland forces. Nimz allowed his troops a few weeks of R&R before starting attacks up again on Nov. 10. The following day, C3 gave up control of Northumberland. The empire is now pleased to present to the world its newest annexation, Capablanca!
Shirley Bomming
War correspondant, ECNN
--------------
In other news, President Boy has recieved intelligence indicating mass insanity will befall our great empire in just over 1 year.
Anne Mesia
Chaos correspondant, ECNN
Tuesday, November 30, 2187
Citizens of our chess based empire are starting to get concerned that President Boy may not be immune to the reset insanity. He is starting to show signs of irrational behavior--he has declared war on the three remaining neighbors to the country Spassky, when he is aware that they will turn back to the government of C3 within a year. Concerns are mounting, but, oddly enough, so is the approval rating. People are at 93.7% of international standard rating for satisfaction with their lives.
Shirley Bomming
War correspondant, ECNN
in conjunction with
Spassky Bureaus of War and Statistics
Update from the Errata Dept:
Insanity projections indicate 1.5 years of sanity left.
ECNN
September 24, 2189
Spassky, Decambra Region of Centura Donna
Strange behavior has been reported by the officers of the Spassky army. Last week, in what was to start a grand advance into The United Colonies of Ogre, the officers did not obey the order from Nimz to attack. With the uselessness of the army, Nimz is trying to sell the Spassky military surplus.
It is supposed that the Spassky army might have been deafened by repeated gunfire, and simply did not hear the order. The claim that every officer lost hearing seems to be exaggerated, especially in light of the better than average health care in Spassky. Others think this might be one of the first symptoms of insanity.
Related disobediences include those concerning the closing of facilities during war. Upon review, it seems the Constitution of Spassky limits the power of the President during war, instead of expanding Presidential power. Apparently this is a check of power, since going to war is a constitutional right, not a privelege granted by a congress.
As a side note, people in Spassky are at 95.1% of the international standard rating for satisfaction with their lives.
Our next update will likely come from the continent of Eridana.
This is Shirley Bomming reporting for ECNN.
March 26, 2190
Spassky, Austral Bergo Region of Eridana
Today Nobody resigned as President of the country newly named Spassky. President Boy has moved all his effects and personal documents from Centura Donna to Eridana, the most important of which is his chessboard. When asked to comment on his recent move, here is what he said:
"I was starting to wear out my welcome in Decambra. With empire wide insanities hitting for the second time, I figured it was high time to pack my things to find a more sane region. The new Spassky has a considerably larger population than any of my previous countries, indicating that it probably hasn't gone insane recently. I had also been forceably removed from a country in Decambra, and I finally decided to take that hint.
"The citizens in my former empire (now with names THE US OF HELLS CHILDREN, Crapland, Moving to Eridana, and Northumberland) will surely miss my leadership, but I can potentially lead many more people to satisfaction and victory in my current location."
Some rumors have gone around that Nimz might be a ringleader in a fairly secretive society. These rumors have largely been dismissed, as they originate from the people who have been buying boats for this landlocked country. The latest hot phrase has been, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you."
Spassky Times Reporter, Bal O'Nee
lol
President Boy is asking the world a question of serious importance:
Who has Prawn crackers?
The edict has been ordered to find the vendors of Prawn crackers in order to sample them. Since President Boy was not on this world during the original Prawn cracker tour, he feels he has missed out on a notable experience. Anyone with any knowledge of the whereabouts of Prawn cracker vendors is asked to inform our president at 1600 Chess Street, Boris, Spassky.
unfortunetly for President Boy, everyone has suffered mass insanity and can't remember what a Prawn Cracker is.
Except the insane Emperor of New Berlioz who has been hoarding Prawn Crackers for 100 years in his Imperial Palace.
The Emperor of New Berlioz was obviously already insane when the mass insanities hit? At any rate, it's been almost 5 years since the edict went out--much has changed, including the Presidential address (now he's across the street at 1599 Chess Street). Prawn crackers are old news. President Boy is now looking for Slurm.